Episode 65: How to tell your child they have ADHD

How do you tell your child they have ADHD without making it feel scary, overwhelming or negative? In this episode, Sharon, ADHD coach and parent mentor, walks you through exactly how to approach this sensitive conversation with warmth and confidence. You’ll learn how to turn a diagnosis into empowerment — and how to nurture your child’s self-understanding from the start.

If your child has recently been diagnosed, Sharon’s free workshop “3 Steps to an Easier Family Life with ADHD” will help you feel equipped and confident. Grab your spot now at thefunctionalfamily.com/easier 💛

👀 In this episode, Sharon covers:

✅ Why telling your child they have ADHD early builds resilience and self-esteem
✅ The biggest mistake parents make when keeping it a “secret”
✅ How to frame ADHD as a unique brain wiring rather than a disorder
✅ Simple ways to weave ADHD into everyday chats, not “big sit-down talks”
✅ How to highlight your child’s strengths — not just their challenges
✅ Real-life language you can use to explain ADHD to different age groups
✅ How to stay curious and keep the conversation going as your child grows

⏱️ Timestamps

00:00 – Finding the right words to tell your child about ADHD
02:15 – Why Sharon felt lost after her first diagnosis
04:00 – The importance of empowering children with the truth
06:30 – Why avoiding “the label” can cause more harm than good
09:45 – How to keep the conversation casual and positive
13:10 – Reframing ADHD as unique brain wiring
15:20 – Using relatable role models to inspire your child
18:00 – Sharing your own ADHD story (without assumptions)
21:15 – Highlighting strengths and self-understanding
25:00 – Encouraging ongoing questions and curiosity
28:00 – Teaching that “everything is figureoutable”
30:45 – Sharon’s free workshop for parents: 3 Steps to an Easier Family Life with ADHD

💡 Next Steps + Resources

🎧 Subscribe to The Functional Family Podcast on Apple, Spotify, or YouTube
🎁 Join the free workshop: thefunctionalfamily.com/easier
📘 Download Sharon’s ADHD resources via her website
💬 Follow Sharon on Instagram at @thefunctionalfamily

💼 Work With Sharon

Sharon helps parents of children with ADHD create calmer homes and confident families through coaching, workshops, and practical ADHD resources.

Start with her free workshop, “3 Steps to an Easier Family Life with ADHD,” or explore her signature Functional Family Membership for deeper support and community.

🌐 Visit thefunctionalfamily.com to learn more.

Episode Transcript

finding the right words to tell your child
that they have ADHD can feel overwhelming
in this episode
I'll walk you through how to have this conversation
in a way that is gentle and empowering
and if you have a child who has recently
been diagnosed with ADHD
I've created a free workshop just for parents like you
I'll share with you more details with
about this later in the episode
let's get to it
when my first child was diagnosed with ADHD
I was completely lost
now this diagnosis wasn't a surprise
I mean you only have to spend like
a couple of minutes
observing my husband and my eldest child
to know that they were never
not going to get a diagnosis
super hyperactive in their presentations
so they are the lucky ones who get diagnosed early
but I still walked out of that diagnosis appointment
with a photocopied pamphlet
and felt completely lost
I didn't know how to communicate to my child
I knew I wanted to do it a in a really positive way
but I didn't know enough about ADHD and what that meant
I only knew the challenges
not the strength that came along with it
and I knew I didn't want to lead with that
so I thought what I would do is I wanted
I wanted to record this episode
so if you're a parent
navigating a new diagnosis for your child
and your
coming up to that conversation
where you are going to tell them about that diagnosis
this episode is for you
it's also a really great one to listen
so you can support
other families that are going through
you know that this process
because it's really nice when other parents
who have already gone through it
are able to assist
other parents who are in the thick of it
so
here is why I'm pro telling your child they have ADHD
so often I
work with adult clients that haven't been told
and they they perhaps got a diagnosis as a child
but their parents kept it from them
and they
they describe to me that it is quite harrowing
when they find out
they go through stages of grief when they find out
they look back throughout their lives and they
they see some of the challenges they have
and how they beat themselves up
for things that were really ADHD
challenges and they feel
sad that they didn't know that they had ADHD
cause they recognize that
they would have concentrated those challenges
with a lot more compassion
and
I know that there is a group of parents who are saying
I don't wanna label my child
I don't want that ADHD is a label
I don't wanna label them and I don't agree with it
I think that when you don't give them the ADHD
diagnosis or label they give themselves labels
so they give themselves labels like lazy d b
stupid
you know an outsider
all of the things that they tell themselves
and they're a lot more damaging than the
than the label of ADHD
I think ADHD is actually empowering
I think
once you know that your brain is wired differently
you can start learning skills around it
you can start scaffolding for yourself
you can start advocating for yourself
so I actually think that it is
I am very pro telling your child
but having said that we wanna do it in the right way
so this episode is to support you
to do it in a way that feels good for you
and to also resonate with your child
so first up is keeping it casual
so making it lots of little conversations
not a serious sit down one where you call them to the
the dining room table
and you have the serious conversation
now the reason that I like to keep it casual
and lots of little ones
is because when we have serious sit down conversations
that's usually when you're in trouble right
trouble at school or in trouble
so I don't like to do it like that
this is not something
that we want to portray in that light
and also
a lot of our kids are not likely to remember it
if we just tell them once
we wanna keep it casual
and weave it into lots of little conversations
rather than a serious sit down one
our next up
we want to frame it as a unique brain wiring
rather than a disorder
I actually don't like the words that ADHD stands for
attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
it's kind of not what it is
we don't have an attention deficit
it's that we can't control where attention goes
because the brain it's an interest based brain model
the neurotypical brain is based on importance
the ADHD brain is based on interest
so we have plenty of attention
it's just that we can't control where it is
where it's going and where it's directed
so I don't love the name but regardless
I think that we
frame it as a unique brain wiring rather than disorder
and then we wanna show them and weave
this is how we weave it into the
lots of little conversations
show them people that are relevant to them
that also have ADHD
so if your child likes a particular sport
Google who in that who in that sport has ADHD
if your child likes certain music
show them examples of famous musicians
and there'll be lots of them right
like
there's so many people in the spotlight that have ADHD
show them positive examples
and role models of people that are relevant to them
that have ADHD
it's no good showing them
people that are relevant to us
cause they don't have the frame of reference
unless they like that person
it's not gonna mean anything so show them
Youtubers whatever your child is interested in
find out of chat GPT
who in that area has ADHD and point it out
point it out so they have other
people that they can acknowledge
from their frame of reference
that have ADHD too
and that really helps them to know that they're not
alone that is incredibly common and
and not frame ADHD in a limiting way
because look at all the other people
look at all the famous people that have ADHD
and are successful
and then for parents who also have ADHD
I recommend that you talk about your own experience
because you are in a unique position
of being able to talk about your own experience
with ADHD but don't lead with it
and also don't make ass ptions
about how your child is experiencing ADHD
to this day as an ADHD coach
I have never met
two people that experience ADHD in exactly
the same way
and this can be a little bit of a tricky one
because as parents
we wanna j p in and perhaps we might say oh
you know
they they can't do that because of their ADHD or no
that's gonna be challenging because of their ADHD
you know and we might have those thoughts
but we really don't know
people experience ADHD differently
they have different experiences
different levels of executive function challenges
different strengths
and so I always like to view it with curiosity
rather than making ass ptions about it
so I would talk about your own experience
but leave it as your own experience
make sure that they know that
they could be experiencing it completely differently
and get curious about their experience
next we wanna highlight your child's strengths
and qualities
and explain that that is just
that's what makes them unique
ADHD is a part of them
but it's not their whole being right
if they they're more than their ADHD that's just one
part of them
but they have other things that make them unique
as well
I would also suggest
that you look at the age of your child
so how you explain ADHD
to a 6 year old is gonna be really different
to how you explain it to a
15 year old
so we wanna use clear simple language
and we also want to acknowledge that
there are some struggles with ADHD
we might wanna talk about executive function
if the child is old enough to understand that
but we also wanna talk about
what the strengths and what the positives are as well
it's not just about challenges here
next up we wanna encourage ongoing conversations
and asking questions about ADHD
so what we do is we can ask little check ins
so it might be that you're talking
about a point of friction
that you had or a challenge that you had
and then turn it around to your child and say
you know if you're in this situation
what would you do or what works for you
and ask them questions about it
and also make sure that
that door is open for them to ask you questions
at any time when they have questions about ADHD
and if you don't know the answer that is perfectly fine
you you don't have to make something up
you can just say hey let's Google that together
let's see if we can find that out together
and that's a really cool way of just
letting your child know that you're there
to answer any questions as they come up for them
so this isn't a one time talk
we wanna encourage questions
keep communication open
and remind your child that they are never alone
in navigating ADHD
I absolutely love to tell my kids that
there's you can make mistakes
you can get back up you can
there's not too many mistakes
in life that you can't come back from
it's okay to have a go and fail and it's okay
you know if we either we either win or we learn right
and so I really like to reinforce that
and I also love the saying
Marie Forleo saying that everything is figure outable
as long as they tell me about it
we can figure it out together
and I like to repeat that
so if they wanna ask me any questions
or they feel that they might be getting tripped up
in certain certain situations
everything is figure outable
so we can figure it out together
telling your child about their ADHD
is really about planting seeds
of self understanding
and self acceptance starting with their strengths
explaining things in simple
relatable ways
and keeping the conversation open as they grow
if your child has just been diagnosed
you might be feeling unsure about what comes next
that's why I've created a free workshop for parents
of newly diagnosed children
in primary school
called 3 steps to an easier Family Life with ADHD
in it I'll walk you through
three simple steps to help you understand ADHD
build confidence
and support your child at home and school
you can grab your free spot
it's on November 12th
and of course there's show up bonuses
and all the things that we like to do
my love language is definitely templates
you can grab your free spot at the functional
family.com backslash easier I hope to see you there

Episode 65: How to tell your child they have ADHD

👀 In this episode, Sharon covers:

⏱️ Timestamps

💡 Next Steps + Resources

💼 Work With Sharon

Let's be friends!

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Episode 65: How to tell your child they have ADHD

👀 In this episode, Sharon covers:

⏱️ Timestamps

💡 Next Steps + Resources

💼 Work With Sharon

Let's be friends!

Almost there...Just enter your details below

Almost there...
Just enter your details below