How to Tell Your Child They Have ADHD

Finding the right words to tell your child they have ADHD can feel overwhelming. You want to protect their confidence, give them the truth, and set them up to see their strengths — not their struggles.

I remember that feeling so clearly. When my eldest was diagnosed, it wasn’t a surprise (you only had to spend a few minutes with my husband and child together to see it coming!). But I still walked out of that appointment with a photocopied pamphlet and a pit in my stomach.

No one tells you how to explain ADHD to a child in a way that builds them up. That’s what this blog — and this week’s blog— is all about.

Why I’m Pro Telling Your Child They Have ADHD

Some parents worry that talking about ADHD will “label” their child. I understand that fear — none of us want our kids to feel boxed in.

But here’s what I’ve learned after coaching thousands of families: if we don’t give our children the right label, they’ll give themselves the wrong ones.

Words like lazy, stupid, naughty, or not good enough can stick far more deeply than the letters A-D-H-D ever will.

ADHD is not a bad label — it’s an empowering one. When your child understands that their brain is wired differently, they can start learning how to work with it, rather than fighting against it. They can advocate for themselves, build scaffolding, and grow their confidence.

Keep It Casual (and Ongoing)

The first tip? Don’t make it a single, serious “big talk.”

For most kids, serious sit-down chats mean trouble — not connection. So instead of one heavy conversation, weave ADHD into lots of small ones. Mention it when something comes up naturally: “That’s your ADHD brain needing more movement,” or “That’s your amazing focus when something’s interesting.”

Think of it as a thread you’ll return to often, not a one-off event.

Frame ADHD as a Unique Brain Wiring

Personally, I don’t even love the words Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. It’s not a deficit of attention — it’s a difference in how the brain regulates attention.

Explain to your child that their brain needs interest and purpose to switch on. They might struggle to focus on boring tasks, but when they care deeply about something, they can hyperfocus like a superhero.

That’s not broken. That’s unique wiring.

Lead with Strengths, Not Struggles

Yes, ADHD brings challenges — but it also brings creativity, empathy, problem-solving, humour, and resilience.

When you talk about ADHD with your child, balance honesty with hope. Acknowledge the tough bits, but highlight their strengths just as much. Say things like:

• “Your brain is built for creativity.”

• “You see the world in ways other people miss.”

• “You’ve got big energy — and that’s a gift.”

Your goal is to help your child see ADHD as part of who they are — not something wrong with who they are.

Be Ready for Questions (and Feelings)

Kids might ask things like:

• “Is it my fault?”

• “Does that mean I’m different?”

• “Will I always have ADHD?”

Answer gently and truthfully. Let them know that ADHD isn’t their fault, and that lots of people — including grown-ups — have it too. If they feel sad or confused, that’s okay. Sit with them in it.

This is an ongoing journey, not a one-time conversation.

If You’re Feeling Lost, You’re Not Alone

Every parent I work with says the same thing: “I wish someone had given me a map.”

That’s why I created a free training called “Making Life with ADHD Easier.” It’s for parents who are just beginning this journey and want simple, practical steps to create calm and connection at home.

👉 Join the free training here

Watch & Listen

🎥 Watch the full episode on YouTube
🎧 Listen on The Functional Family Podcast

Resources Mentioned

• The Functional Family Free Training

About Sharon Collon

Sharon Collon is an award-winning ADHD Coach, Parenting Consultant, and founder of The Functional Family. She’s a mum of three boys with ADHD and has supported over 40,000 families through coaching, online programs, and her podcast. Sharon helps parents swap chaos for connection — and make family life easier, calmer, and more fun.

🌏 www.thefunctionalfamily.com
📸 @thefunctionalfamily